DISAPPOINTMENT AND TESTING

Well, here it is January 22, 2014 and I have a bit of a heavy heart.

OKAY, I lie, my heart is heavy.

It is 10:08 am, and I am suppose to be on a bus going to March for Life 

with the littles and husband, instead, I am at home

writing this.

Why aren't you you may ask or wonder. I am going to tell you what happened so far today in our lives.

Brian and I got up shortly after 5am to get ready then woke the children to get them ready around 5:30.  Marcus and Luke were the easiest. I helped them get all their layers on, three layers to be exact, then continued to the younger boys then Genevieve and finally Timothy.

Brian went to warm the van for us and loaded some of our things,

stroller, cooler and 3 children, we were out the door by 6:30 to be at the parking garage in Pottsville for 7:15 (yes, early, but taking precautions due to roads/weather).

Brian called Father to see if the bus was on the way to Pottsville. Father tells Brian the bus is an hour late. The company had multiple cancellations for today and thought that we were included in the list,

even though a call was made yesterday to confirm pick up times.

Since the bus would be arriving at Pottsville at 8:15 we decided to grab a coffee then ran for a few more things for the cooler at Giant and back to the garage to wait.

Finally at 8:06 am, we get out of the van, unload the stroller, cooler and backpack. Everyone has something to carry to make it a bit easier for everyone. 

As we are walking, John starts crying really bad that he is cold.  We get down the steps and the crying gets worse, it sounds like he is being hurt or something. By the time Brian gets to us with Genevieve,

John is a major mess.  Daddy sensors go off and he tells me, you will take him home.

Naturally, as I was the one who REALLY, REALLY wanted to go, and for a long time, tried to fight

his words of wisdom.

Now, to give a bit of credit to John, I will say it was cold, as you took a breath, the inside of my nose got "stuck", but at the same time, I found it to be invigorating

In the end, Brian did "win", he loaded the 4 youngest in the van, I am still angry and disappointed by what has happened.

I drive home with them, get everyone undressed and blanketed.  

Now they are playing and listening to music.

BUT there is another twist here:

I get an email from Brian telling me the school where the bus drops off and you get back on is closed, so this means there is no coffee/donuts waiting there for their arrival and there will be no soup tonight for the return trip home.

Naturally, I did pack food for the trip as well as water bottles. I gave Brian the last little bit of cash I had on hand as well as the insurance cards for Marcus and Luke, you never know what will happen.

So, as I sit in our house with my four youngest children, I want to cry and continue to be angry about not being in Washington today. I know this is wrong and am going to do my best to fight these 

feelings.  I would sincerely appreciate prayers for the safety of my family and for peace for me.

God knows what is best for our family at every moment of our life. If I come to terms with this, and just accept it, this will be all the easier to deal with the disappointment.

I will offer up my disappointment for the babies whose mothers do not chose life.

 

We can always try again next year.

Until then, I did say I'd blog about the trip, and I will, unfortunately, it won't be my words, it will be through my children's eyes, which can be even more descriptive and inspiring, so stay tuned!

God bless!