An eye opener

On Sunday, February 16, 2013 after Mass, I wanted to go over to Renninger's Market for some meat.  I decided to take PoohBear and Tootlehead with me for a change. Big deal, yeah, actually, it was.

You see, that day was my mother's birthday...she would have been 62 years old, if she were still alive.

I haven't been to my mother's grave for many years.  Never really felt the need to go there until this specific Sunday.

I told the littles that mommy needed to go to the cemetery where her mommy is for a few minutes to say some prayers over her grave.

They didn't really get it, it was cold, the littles waited in the van very near by.  I took the short walk to the grave.  Once I got there, I said my prayers for the dead, then really talked to her, as though she were there, meaning alive.

All at once, I was very sad, for many reasons....One was because I miss my mom more than I realized I did.  However, that isn't all.  My mother will not know my children (her many grandchildren) and their crazy antics in this world, she isn't able to interact with them, watch them grow up.  This made me very sad.

My mother's life was a difficult one, I know that.  I truly wish that things could have been different for her in this world, but God was in control even if she didn't think so or see it. 

At the time of her death, I grieved, and questioned God's reason, but knew that in general, it was better that way and kind of pushed her death out of  my mind.  Sure I have re-lived the whole day of the death and tried to let go, but it never worked.

I was finished saying my prayers, and was heading back to the van, but realized more needed to be said to her, so I turned around, marched back to the grave and talked more. After talking to her on her birthday, I told her I was sorry that she had a hard life, that she never got to remarry, or be able to see her grandchildren. 

Once I was finished, I felt a sense of peace wash over me that I haven't felt before when dealing with her death.  It will be 10 year in November that she died.  I understand I will always miss my mother (some times more than others), and even have regrets for things that were left unsaid, things that were said, or even feelings that shouldn't have been.  But after this special Sunday, I know, I can go to the grave and tell her what is on my mind and get it out there.  I may not have an immediate reconciliation with anything, but at least I know I'm able to do something to help me when it comes to missing my mom.

Even though it is late, I want to wish my mother a happy birthday, and I want her to know I love her, and always will...I am now at peace with things and feel like it will be ok.

I guess the big thing for me to tell you today is if you have said something, or not said something that is of importance you need to say it whether it is in person or by letter, just let them know what is on your mind, you never know if you will be too late.  I know I was.

 

God bless!
.

when it seems there isn't enough of you....

Princess and mommy

What do you do when you have two little ones that want your undivided attention, they fight each other to sit on your lap or to be held, they cry and don't want to share mommy with the sibling who is just as much in need of mommy?

Well, today, Princess and Tootlehead both wanted my attention, as I was trying to make some important calls in regard to Tootlehead's head pains...

mommy and pooh bear!

I sat on the sofa, and said to them both, look, I need to get these calls done, you need to sit quietly or play with your brothers.  Mommy NEEDS to get this done, doctor's offices do close or switch to their answering service after a certain time.  Naturally they didn't understand.  

I sat with them a bit longer one on each leg, then one started kicking the other, in want of more mommy lap.

Told them, if you can't share, no one gets on mommy's lap, you sit on either side.  That didn't satisfy them either. 

daddy and monkey man

I got up to finish my calls, and they all decided that life is good, enough mommy time has been had, so now I get to do my blog, well, almost with a free lap..a princess took residence again.  If I were on the sofa, she'd fall asleep, but that is life. I need to get a few things done, and if she wants to snuggle, she will take what she can get!  Tootle decided to draw, right next to mommy. 

I love how there are times it seems like there isn't enough of me to go around, but we always find a way to make it work out to everyone's advantage.  

They all get snuggle time during the day, it only gets bad if two are tired at the same time, it doesn't happen often, but it does happen....it happened a lot when we were battling all the bugs and viruses we had here that began around Christmas and lasted until the middle to end of January.  

 sunggles at the beach with daddy..a precious moment in time.

I really don't mind when they all want me at the same time, because I know that one day, they will be grown up and not want to snuggle with their mommy.  That day will be here faster than you can blink your eye, and that is something that will be bittersweet...I don't want my babies to grow up, but it is inevitable.  They are enjoyable to watch now, and watching them grow and learn is also enjoyable.

 

I will always remember, that they did once fit in my lap, even Mr. Fixit! Yes, the years do fly by in the blink of an eye...so enjoy!

 

Monkey Man, Pooh Bear, and our cousin,

sharing a lap!

Crazy days

I wouldn't trade my crazy days in for anything, sure some days it would be nice to sit and do nothing, but

if I were to have that opportunity, I would have to do something anyway...I would feel guilty for doing 

nothing. Looking at the piles of laundry, the sink full of dishes or other cleaning that needs done would get on

my nerves.

My children certainly keep me busy, starting the day off with dressing then eating breakfast. Sometimes we take daddy to work so we have the van to get a few things done. Upon coming home, we do our school work then clean up a bit and get the laundry caught up a bit.

By the time that is all done, it is time to start thinking about lunch and what to do for dinner in the evening, even preparing the food so there is less work to do later on. 

In the middle of all this, we have potty runs, boo boos to kiss, arguments to settle, diapers to change, a visit from a friend, sometimes a phone call to make or email to answer.

We can also throw in there, preparing for AWANA on a Wednesday evening or going to library on a Tuesday evening or Thursday afternoon (if it is warm enough for a walk). In the spring, we will throw in getting ready for t-ball for some of the children and when autumn rolls around again, it will be soccer time again.

I am looking forward to the day, soon coming, that we can get our school work done, pack lunches and enjoy a picnic lunch at the playground with friends to burn off pent up energy.

My days look crazy to some people, but not nearly as crazy as some other people.  I love my crazy days, and am thankful for all our littles...because without them, what would my day be like?

If you ask me, it would be BORING!!!!!!!!!  I'd rather my crazy, insane, sometimes wild days, to the quiet emptiness we will feel when everyone is grown up and out of our house...when that time comes, MAYBE I'll be ready for some "do nothing" days, but who knows.

I thank God for my crazy days!  

And I hope you enjoy yours as well, because we all know, 

"This too, shall pass."

LOVE

LOVE...

Such a small word, only four letters..it has many meanings.

We need to declare our love carefully, with a guarded heart, to the one 

you do truly love.  

Sure, there are different types of love, the love we have for God, the love we have for our

spouse, our children, extended family, and even our friends.

On this St. Valentine's Day, we need to remember that this small word is very powerful.

 

I feel this is the best way to look at love through the following verse:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

 

 

 John 3:16

 “For God so loved the world,that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

Ash Wednesday

As I prepare to go to Mass today, Ash Wednesday,

there is a slight heaviness in my heart that I know will

become heavier through the lenten season, but eventually

lighten up as Easter nears.

Ash Wednesday is a day for me to contemplate the beginning of our Lenten 

observation in preparation for Holy Week and Easter.

We will attend Mass today as a family 

(however, Mr. Fixit, went early because of work)

and receive our ashes.

These ashes that will be placed on our foreheads

are a solid, visible reminder that we were

made from dust and unto dust we shall

return.

Remember that thou art dust, and to dust thou shalt return.

Genesis 3:19

 Our children will receive their ashes as well. 

The older 2 know of their meaning, however, the 3 younger ones

won't quite gt it, and probably call it "dirty".

 That is okay.  One day, they too will understand the meaning.

We are reminded also that we are to:

Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel.

Mark 1:15

 During the day, we will abstain from meat, and fast from extra food.

We will prepare ourselves and sacrifice these small pleasures,

knowing it is for the glory of God.

I will spend more time in prayer, and contemplate the Holy Season that is upon 

us. I look forward to having the children grow in their faith as they get older and

gain more knowledge and understanding of the faith as well.  It brings me joy that the 

children do attend Mass on a regular basis, and can say the rosary, know their basic prayers, 

and are not afraid to talk to their Heavenly Father when they feel the need.

It does sadden my heart that there are some out there that do NOT know how good our 

Lord is.  They do not know all the wonderful things He can do for them.

 

If we have something in our heart or on our soul that needs to be confessed,

there is no need to be afraid.

He can help us in our time of need, we just have to come back to Him. 

He loves us more than we can fathom.

We just need to go to Him and confess our sins, do our penance and not do

that sin again, and avoid sin as much as possible.

God made us human with free will, He knows the struggles we will have, but

He wants us to come to Him with our problems and our joys.

I pray for any family members or friends this Lenten Season that you will come back

to God...I would love to see former Catholics return to full communion with God

this Easter Season, and that will be my prayer as it has been for a long time now.

I know with God, miracles can happen and this can too.

And when it does, I will give Glory to God, and be happy for him that

He has found a lost sheep!

Have a blessed Ash Wednesday, and a very reverent Lenten Season,

there is much for you to contemplate in your lives, so why not start

today???

God Bless, and go get your ashes!

Control

We all feel the need to be in "control" of all aspects of our lives.  

It is NOT possible. 

We cannot control the weather, we cannot control the price of gas, food, or oil.

We cannot control when our time is up in this world.

Isaiah 45:7 

I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these [things].

So, what can we control?
We can control how we respond to the weather, the prices of gas, food and oil.

We can control how we feel when someone hurts us,

We can control our emotions, words, actions and reactions to situations.

We see children that are out of control in the grocery store sometimes, in the school yard,

at the playground or just about anywhere there are children.  

We need to realize that these children are not in control, and it is not always their fault, depending on

the age of the child. Children are taught by their parents, elders, and others that they spend time with throughout the day, week, month, etc.  Unfortunately, some parents/guardians are out of control even though they think they are in control, or maybe they don't want to be in control.

Isaiah 55:9

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

We need to be able to show our young ones that even though we are NOT in control that there is a proper way to act/react/respond to situations we may not like.

As adults, we also need to teach our children that there is only one that is in TOTAL control....

GOD.

He knows everything, sees everything, understands everything, and knows the outcome of today, tomorrow,

even next year. 

 Psalm 147:5

Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.

He knows our hurts, our concerns, our worries and fears.  We need to teach our children how to lean on Him when things seem to be spiraling out of control.  

We may not get an immediate answer or immediate help, but knowing that our Lord cares for us is a blessing

in and of itself.  We all need to lean on God a little more and stop trying to be in control of everything, every minute of the day.  

Even though He allows these hurts, concerns, worries and fears, He already knows about them and is waiting to hear us ask for help.  We need to have total trust in God's plan for us and teach our children the same. 

Revelation 2:10: 

 Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.

We need to accept the fact that we are not in control, and

leave that to God!

 

FRIENDS

We all have friends...

some of them have been with us since childhood,

some are more recent and then there are

others are yet to be met.

I for one do not really have friends from my childhood, sure I am "friends" with a few on facebook, but it isn't the same.

They are mainly acquaintances, and that is fine because they are still a "friend".

The friends I have met through my MOMS group and the library have become important to me, not only for my sake, but for all the children.  

I am hoping that the time I spend with friends here at our house or at their house will be remembered by the children, because as mommies are 

growing their friendship, the children are also working on growing their friendship.

It is great to watch the bonds form for children. I love watching my "littles" play with children that they know.  Sure children fight or don't get along, but don't we as adults find the same thing happen on occasion?

When we hurt our friends or our friends hurt us for what ever reason, we need to show our children how to forgive and move on with the friendship.  

Or in the worst case,

 show how to dissolve a friendship with dignity.

 (not that we want it to happen, but sometimes it does, happen

whether it is our own volition or volition of the other party)

It is hard and we need to be strong, and mature and show our children

how to handle the disappointment of losing a friend.

We must also be ready to show our children how to apologize if we hurt a friend, or push someone away,

so they know what to do if these things happen to them.

Part of being a friend is knowing when to pull back if the friendship gets too hard to handle, or "suffocating"

showing the person you care by giving them space, 

and welcoming them back with open arms 

when they do come back.  

Just as the father did in the story of the "Prodigal Son".

 

We must not be jealous if a person goes away for awhile to explore new friendships, we must be glad for them.  And in return, I would hope that the person would do the same, and use the lesson to teach the children in the family.

We are wonderfully made by God, none of us are the same, just as there are not two snowflakes that are the same, however, we do have a lot of similarities, and that is what makes us friends.

We need to celebrate our similarities and differences, accept that we are different, and know that we may not always agree, but we will be there through the good and bad times.

 

I am thankful for the friends that have been with me through my sad times-losing mom and grandmother, 

and my happy times-births of our wonderful "littles".

I look forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for each of us and for our children as we grow older and continue this crazy path called life!

God, please bless my friends of the past, present and future, as well as the friends of the littles!

 

SILENCE

You may be thinking, "Silence?!?  How/when does that household have silence?!?"

Well, I'll tell you when we have silence:

1) when the children are snug in their beds

2) when the children are playing nicely in their room or living room

(yes, it does happen!)

and

3) in the early hours of the morning

As the children in quiet mode, there are things I contemplate...as they sleep, I thank God for how busy they

were during the day, how healthy they are and what joy each one brings us. 

When the children are doing school, playing with their toys and games, or drawing and creating, I see the world through their eyes...the intensity with which they work/listen show they really are interested in what their current task happens to be.

During the early morning, before every one wakes up, I go downstairs, start a fresh pot of coffee and make my husbands lunch, thankful that I can provide a meal/snack to nourish him physically throughout the day.

Then when that is done, I have a few moments to just sit and let my heart open for the Lord to hear or

see what I may not be able to put into "proper" prayer.

The quiet of the evening and morning have become a very reflective time for me.  I am thankful that I have my Thursday evening Holy Hour to be with the Lord and give all my problems/concerns/thanksgiving to Him 

 

with no distractions of the little ones needing help, 

HOWEVER, I know that I can go to Him

even in the busiest moments of our day and offer up a quick pray and He will hear it.

So, you see, no matter how many children we have, no matter how busy our lives are,

you can always find time to have some silence in your life as I have in mine!

My prayer for you today is to find time to sit and 

listen to your heart, or let the Lord listen to 

what is on your heart.

and.....

EMBRACE THE SILENCE!

Sometimes, it's hard to pull them in!

 

First day of school 2010

School days!

Everyone one of us has been through them,

some of us liked them, some of us didn't.

I remember loving going to my elementary school when I was a child.

However, as middle and high school came along, I didn't 

love it, but I didn't hate it either...it

was just something I knew I had to do.

Now that we are raising children of school age,

I am so thankful that we don't have to send them out in the cold to 

catch a bus.

 

The only thing we have to do is wake up, get dressed, have our breakfast,

clear table, brush teeth, get out the books and off we go!

The children do like being home for school and are very efficient in getting their 

work done without much trouble.

There are some days, that we do get a late start, but that is fine.

They enjoy the time together before we sit down to do our work

playing, reading, drawing, just doing things together.

I feel like some days they need that time to let their creative juices

get started that way, then come to the table and put them to work with

school. They are more cooperative, they seem to get it easier,

they do well..So, does it really matter if we start our lessons at

9 am or 1 pm? No, I truly don't think so.

Just so they do the work and do it with efficiency, that is what matters.

Some times it is hard to pull them in and that is when I know they need 

a bit of time together before I get them to do their work.

I thank God that I can see the need of this with these children and 

am glad that we can give them what they need. 

When you see straight A report cards at the end of the quarter, you 

know something is being done right!